Growth amongst the thorns

I have always found great inspiration in plants, especially since adopting two (2) ZZ plants over a year ago at work. One was placed in the kitchen and the other I took with me when I changed offices after a promotion. Both plants have flourished so beautifully over time and I have done my best to take care of them daily. After my 5 day business trip, days off and sick leave, I returned to find the once short new sprout that emerged from a stunted/previously cut stem, had grown higher than the highest older stem. It rose and sprung so high, proudly standing tall amongst its predecessors. Seeing this instantly filled my heart with joy and optimism. i know that the plant was not truly cared for in my absence,(the soil and lower roots were notably dry, however, despite this, the plant continued to grow, unwavered by the lack of moisture and nutrients that it needed. this spoke to me by displaying that in times of desperation and when we feel as though we are lacking in what we need, when we are being tested; our strength, determination and persistence we can still succeed! Life continues on, progress is made and we can soar higher than those before us; and keep growing! It did not allow what it had, to decide to stagger or cause it to falter. It used what little it had. We can all be greater and wiser than those before us. We should not fear this, but embrace it as a gift. I take these small lessons and apply it to my life and to gain a new, refreshing perspective.

The newest sprout continues to grows beautifully, higher than the others and every moment that I see it, I smile. Feeling instantly inspired and not worried about the trials I will face, I know that I will emerge courageous, strong and better than before.

- May 10, 15

The 'Ah Ha' moment!

This week has been enlightening.  It's the final few days of my extended vacation and it's really been filled with alot of enjoyment, food (a MUST have) and quality time with my hubby.  He has always had a strong entrepreneurial spirit and pushed to explore and conquer the professional world outside of the typical 9 - 5.  He's always had that thirst to establish his own and do 'me.'  I was always one for the safe, stability of what guarantees me a predictable pay check at the end of the month and just plan my life around that: clean and simple.  But my friends/former colleagues either leaving the company for a better job or because they've chosen to follow their passions,  really impacted me and made me questions myself.  "What am I doing?"  I admittedly got so caught up in my passions last year that I was burnt out by late November and this year I've found myself on go slow.  I got lost in the team power struggle and worrying about the opinions of others.  It.Was.A.Disaster. and has led me to questioning alot of things.  Following my more expressive, adventurous and risk taking friends , I asked them about how they first began along this solo path of breaking the boxed career mold.  Everything they said was inspiring and relateable:

"I was scared and worried about my family's approval."
"I wanted to be a working mom, but also one who spent time with her kids.  I want to be there for all their special moments."
"Why do what everyone else expects?"

At the end of the day, why not truly do what makes you happen and ignites your spirit?  The tip of the iceberg was a Facebook post where a man details the crumbling of his hopes and dreams through seeking stability for his family but ultimately lost himself without even realizing it (found here/)  It was eye opening for me, like Wake up Girl!  Even little girls who dreamed of romantic weddings and a handsome husband had the right idea: you've gotta dream it and write it down to make it real.  All the clippings of dresses, food, flowers, decorations, made them ready for that big day , years later.  Since then I've found myself taking an online course on time management, sharing motivational videos about being focused and finally understanding what my husband has been so motivated by all these years.  I understand now the value of a vision, knowing and following your passions, living a full life that you enjoy even if it's risky. 'Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.' - Albert Einstein

Today I had my 'Ah Ha' moment and I encourage you all today to take that first step towards an unforgettable, amazing life.  No excuses, no regrets.

My next step is to purchase a canvas and flip board, create my vision board, take a photo of me next to it and as time goes by, I achieve everything on that board.  This is my life now.

I am.

I am vivacious,
Cautious,
Analytical,
Silly,
Playful,
A lover not a fighter,
Spiritual,
Emotional,
Loyal,
Supportive,
Lazy when I want to be,
An avid lover of buffalo wings,
Quite the talker!
A mischievous Gemini.... and I wouldn't change any of these things for a world
I am inexcusably, unapologetic-ally, undoubtedly me and I LOVE it!

Fill & Release

Letting go can be a very therapeutic experience.

Upon participating in a lantern ceremony over the cool waters of Nassau, I experienced the tranquility and relief of letting go. Just as the initial spark of a lighter lit a flame the material under the lantern, so does temptations, mistakes and ill deeds create a source of chaos for me. When my mind and emotions feel scrambled, challenged or near defeat. As the hot air fills the balloon, the emission affects of this harmful substance fills my heart, spirit and soul; seeking desperately for a way out. Once the balloon has reached its air capacity it is ready to take off, be set into the sky, fueled by the air which has consumes it. This I can do. I envision myself simply releasing past doubts, fears, indifference and negativity into the air and watching it float away. Today I likened my emotional baggage to that of garbage sent to the dump several days ago due to post expiration, heaviness and a high tendency to cause accidents lol. However there is some truth to it.

I encourage you to let go, let it ALL go. In the name of sanity, self purification and a clutter free life.

Decluttering ain't just for buildings!

The concept of the power of decluttering was inspired by the tumultuous cleaning spree I led for a consistent 7 days, all in the name of my apartment inspection and to prove I was still a cleaning whiz with stamina. At first, the dirt and dust seemed thick, and tackling little jobs seemed as non-entertaining as focusing on the big ones but each task completed have me an encouragement boost. As time progressed the brightness of the space, walls and fixtures really shone through and I felt lifted; lighter. Later that week I reorganized my boss' office and later my own; finding both experiences rewarding and stimulating.


As I made space for my new bromeliad and poinsettia plants, I thought of new life and became inspired by the beauty of these greens. The poinsettias had found a new home with me, as the office barely provided sufficient sunlight and air to encourage growth. Similarly the bromeliad was gifted to me, and was a collection of 4 in one cluster. I gave the first to a fellow girlfriend and watched as she toiled and ploughed through the yard of her front soil to ensure that the plant had a good spot. Unfortunately the other two was a mother plant who had produced a pulp that had drained her nutrients, color and luster overtime; ow standing tall, firm and beautiful. The offspring often lead to the decay of the mother plant if she is left attached. It is ere that I learned of the necessity for segregation to encourage growth. Although it was sad to detach the mother in an effort to not watch her die, it was good to see the young plant striving on it's own. While clearing the leaves from the grass, I also thought of how the clearing of decayed, dying or broken leaves signify death and do not encourage development. I likened the clearing of these small dead leaves to the persons, thoughts and places that we leave lingering in our hearts, minds and lives on a daily basis. There is no way we can reveal our best self without removing the impurities that lie on top It brought me great pleasure to clear away all that id the bright green aura of the grass as well as pruning the surrounding plants. It provided a more healthy, bright and progressive layout for the plants and reminded me to enjoy the simple things in life.

Despair, Fear, Hope......day one.

I am ready to drop the baggage that weighs heavily on the cortex of my spine and imprints the bruised ridges into my shoulders,
Unclasp the cuffs that bind around my wrists like piano strings; small but deadly,
Unlink the chain that rests heavily on my side, barring me to the ground,
My darkened scarred feet yearn to move more rapidly than the dragging baby steps they're forced to make; as the pain is too much to bare.
In the distance I see the sun, its radiance far brighter than my heart has been in the many months I've found myself here.
The desert sand swirls playfully around me forming pinwheels of air and dust.
My lips part slowly and a small, harsh voice cracks the silent surface of the desert dawn.
A whisper of a voice murmurs: "Day One."

Coming full circle.

Short gasp, brief delightful sigh : "I’ve come full circle."

And I would’ve never dreamt that it would happen

I want to be a mentor, peer editor and teacher to children.

I found myself engulfed in a paper focused on Customer Service and I couldn’t pull my eyes away.

They searched radically across the page as I highlighted words, marked sentences and corrected punctuation marks with ease and sophistication.

I found myself with a pen pressed near my lips and fingers locked between white paper sheets and a noisy keyboard. Simply typing away to find more info to give this paper some pizzazz!

I created a cover page with ease, knowing immediately what to type in the search box and which images would fuse together the different aspects of technology, computers and its users and I was pleased with my work (smile!)

I thought of the other tasks I could’ve been doing but knew that I wanted to do this, it brought me joy and comfort. Like it was an accomplishment of some sort.

My friend listened earnestly to my directives and understood as I went through the written piece. She nodded often and laughed spontaneously.

She stated that I did well and that she would recommend me to her college buddies. I admitted that my first passion was to be a teacher and that I wouldn’t have ever imagined revealing that or even feeling like a teacher; but I did. I recalled how I was able to assist my young nephew on a school project. I took an adult idea and conformed it to a state where a young highschooler could understand; in fact he loved the ideas and combined the two in one piece! I was instructive but lenient.

In the past, I felt that teachers needed to be passionate and observers needed to see that drive for teaching that I didn’t possess and I opted out, but my friend quipped that statement saying that she could see the passion in my eyes and that I should be one.

This revelation has me contemplating the completion of my education major and opening my home to mentoring young children through peer editing, writing papers and improving grammar. I’m in awe, who knew!?!

Definitely something to think about!

God has blessed me with many gifts/talents. Even if I am unable to teach one-on-one I will be able to help others through my words and actions everyday.

"Seek & Ye shall find, Ask and it shall be given"

What does it mean to invest?

To use, give, or devote (time, talent, etc.), as for a purpose or to achieve something

To endow with a quality or characteristic

the investing of money or capital in order to gain profitable returns, as interest, income, or appreciation in value.

An investment is truly something that one deciphers to be of great value that they wish to give or build into something or someone else. It is yours to give and yours to seek.

This year is about investments for me. I've proclaimed it , sought it and it has become so.
As the year dwindles down, I am constantly reminded by the opportunities given that it is rightly so. I am building my heart and light on a firm foundation, one complete with habits, thoughts and actions that will add to my life two fold and more. I smile when I think about how far God has brought me,he is simply amazing. Thank you God.

The Power of a Suit

"Wow!"
"I actually feel pretty good in this thing!"
" I feel invigorated and indescribably tall."
"It's comfortable, sleek and cool...."
"Love the design and subtle detailing."
"I am soooooo going to rock this with a plum and white striped shirt, and plum jewelry to match the buttons..."

I need to get more of these!!


lol, need I say more :)

The Power of One Voice

Yesterday I felt empowered that I, just one person can do so much. As a toastmaster and woman to be help co ordinate the Lee Denim Day Event at my workplace, NAD. It is it the first group initiative that the company has allowed staff to participate in and the response from colleagues was tremendous. While speaking with a friend, I realized this was the first Cancer related or theme event that I had ever voluntarily and enthusiastically participated in with a whole heart and it felt very rewarding. As though I had conquered a fear or faced something I had once seen as unbearable or a no-talk topic. I also liked that the thank you letter showed a connection between manager and Employee to show others that it is possible and that titles do not segregate us when a cause or the value of a human life is involved.

This morning I smiled thinking to myself that it feels great to be recognized. To be in a place where your natural talent is appreciated and displayed without hesitation. Many persons: friend, family or co workers has asked my advice on projects, papers, receiving help in an initiative where speaking n persuading others is a must. This is the first time I am have been so vibrant, engaging and social in a workplace and I am loving the feeling.

This is all a reminder that God is in control, and He knew that greatness was in my future, seeking that I join this new employment to find my inner strength.

Yay!!

After 5 tiring hours , miscellaneous pictures and interesting cultural facts, I lay back slouched in the usually comfortable office chair. "I'm finished!!" I screamed. Realizing that my goal has become a reality. I have completed my first article for a potential feature magazine. Mind you, I had started this article days ago but the trimming, inserting and editing of Jussssttt the right information became my foe. I combined the data into one file, saved it and sent it off to the Editor and Chief with high exclamation and anticipation. I was proud of myself and where I'd been. A few days earlier, a Thursday, I smiled in my home when thinking of the notion that I am now a writer. I had my laptop, notepads and pencil ready to go, I had a schedule of stories or pieces to create and submit: I felt accomplished!! Even rewarded by the gift that I didn't know was so valuable and substantial. The next day , after submitting a piece to the work newsletter about Toastmasters and receiving approval from the two featured persons, I realized I even wanted to do a victory dance to celebrate just how far I've come to reach this far. Such beauty, longing and fulfillment all wrapped into this one feeling!!

Hmm I may even need a pen name.

M.Mac : writer and poet , at your service.

There's Power in Greatness

After giving my Ice Breaker speech during Toastmasters last evening, I received a wave of comments mostly saying that my speech and use of words were great! I believe that the word great has inspired me since then. Since giving my speech in compilation with all that has happened this year in regards to my growth in writing and opportunities, I truly do feel great. My year is emerged in greatness and I am loving every minute of it. I have rediscovered the passion I had in cooking (last seen in early 2009) and the tourism industry and am feeling good from my head to my toes. It has allowed me to accept that I am a writer, an amazing one who really has a way with words. I am more confident about myself and my abilities; knowing always that God is blessing me abundantly and showing me that only He writes the script of my future.

God, I'm ready to go!

God has a sense of humor and it makes me laugh. I am truly giddy with laughter and I just smile smile to myself. I have a new perspective on life : Laugh!!! it's just too short not to.

Small Victories

I was determined to bake bread and small pastries as a way to save on money and gain a new hobby. I've always cooked, baked and sautéed savory items for entrees and appetizers. Even cakes, cupcakes and rarely cookies but bread? never tried it. Tonight I made cinnamon rolls for the first time and it was such a RUSH!! I'm really proud of myself for taking this step and I feel so victorious. Next time I'll add some toasted nuts to add crunchiness and earthiness. I will definitely continue along the baking world and add calzones, pizzas, jelly rolls, cookies and bread loaves to my culinary resumes.

I love it!! Pictures will be posted shortly!!

Empowerment

I've been making big steps into launching my writing career starting from my debut biography article written by Scharad Lightbourne, well known Bahamian Photographer. However today's step, although small was very significant. It began with a paper, pen and a slight movement of the hand: signing my poetry.

Now I know this may seem silly but I haven't ever manually signed my work. They're saved, time stamped and drafted under my name but the feeling you get when you sign your piece makes it more real, more official. I felt as though it was a blueprint of who and what I am. It is completely mine.

It made me feel joyous, proud, and confident about myself and my work because looking at that signature was like seeing a reflection of myself; and I LOVE it!

Bright Light amongst my darkness

I know that plans have been moved, adjusted and stopped but still I do not worry.
I do not squirm and fight,
Pout or Complain.
I remain firm in my faith and trust in Him.

Oh yes I have been tempted!
By the persons of my yesteryear, whose intentions aim to harm,
But God sent me friends and a silver lining to lift my spirits and encourage my soul.

Even when I am surrounded by doubt, from persons and events close to me
For some reason I find warmth and lightness in my heart , that radiates through my actions.

I have developed a concept today known as :" filter out the garbage". This refers to removing persons, things, thoughts and intentions that aim to burden, hurt or limit you in anyway. Rejuvenate and fill yourself with all that is good, hopeful endearing, beautiful, wise and everlasting.

Since my fast, I have received great enlightenment, understanding, blessings and joy. It is beyond words , the gifts I have received from following the instructions of the Lord on that Monday morning & I would never take it back.

Gettin' It Together

I've decided today to get myself together: for real.

Listening to a good friend of mine tell me of the items he has structured in his life for 3 months really inspired me. In fact, I was proud of him . He's a newlywed and recent father and has placed certain events such as toastmasters and exercising as a part of this weekly routine for a set time to reach an accomplished goal.

It made me want to do more, push more. REALLY work one establishing myself while increasing my value and self worth simultaneously.

I plan on meeting with a financial adviser who will guide me in managing my portfolio. I want to save, invest and know the market well enough to make a profit and be constantly aware.
I want to make smart choices and choose the right companies while building good relationships.

I want to manager my health and weight effectively. Be aware and understand my health entirely, have annual check ups and be on top. Construct a daily exercise and eating habit that will help me to tone and maintain my build and weight successfully.

I want to continue to grow in all aspects of my life: socially, intellectually, professionally, academically and most importantly spiritually.

I also want to grow in maturity, wisdom, acceptance, love and peace as a female, sister, wife, lover and friend.

I feel so great, so inspired and so driven to stay on this path ; no matter what comes my way.

Faced by the past

It feels good knowing that I was myself, my true self throughout this entire experience.
I have learnt how much I have grown and matured,
and also how little some persons haven't and may not.
I am proud that I took a chance,
and refuse to feel sorry for myself or feel weighed down by this experience.
I have learnt a great deal, and as I have noticed within the past few weeks.
I must learn to continue to hold my head high, stay strong and confident
no matter what is placed before me.
It is not what people say I am, but what God says.
I will not succumb to the wicked and evil plots of the devil.
This recent scheme came at a time I felt so proud, happy and confident in myself
and it was meant to blow out the light in my eye and my heart, but I will not allow it.

God , please continue to help me to withstand the pressures of a sinful unjust world.
Aid me in rebuking evil thoughts and succumbing to the whims of others.

Small Victories

I'm very much into celebrating small victories this year because every step in your journey counts.

Today I wrote the biography for Scharadl and he was very impressed. It got me very excited and eager about my future in writing and the beauty of the gift i possess. I want to share it and do it more often. I also saw an advert for beauty schools of America and may attend the enrollment seminars this weekend to study massage therapy. if i do this i would work from 11am - 6pm on weekends only. also i really want to apply to vtv and get my writing potential out there. i am considering working from home only and stopping in on weekends. I'm really loving this feeling i am having. it's hope.

June 8 . 10

AMAZING

Only one word can describe this feeling that I have: AMAZING!

God has fulfilled a promise given to me on the first day of my fast today, on my 27th birthday. One day away from a year ago when I fell down the stairs at my former workplace and missed 3 months of my life. Who knew that I would be able to walk, talk , even function at this time. I was told that my acct. with a long time person would be settled today and the money came true!! He stated it to occur on my birthday and it did! I kept faith and stayed encouraged with a great group of friends. I am growing stronger and stronger in my faith, accepting who I am , more confidence and so much more. I'm becoming a true believer and I love it. I am not scared or worried of the future. I want that my partner experience this feeling and more. Oh how I pray that he does! God is giving me a great team. I am more filled with joy and anticipation than ever before.

I have also become more accepting, patient and kind towards others and see my selfish ways die slowly but surely and replaced with a view of the bigger picture, selfishness and maturity.

I have also been given many opportunities with writing which I'm taking as a sign and I truly love it!

June 3rd, 2010 - 11am