Fasting

On the path to discovering God, vision; me.

Day 1 - Monday May 17th, 2010

I instantly awoke from a disturbing nightmare but proclaimed in my mind that I would fast. I had never considered fasting before and was unaware of how life changing it would be. I chose to abstain from food for a week long period with confidence that I could do it. I was hopeful, eager and determined. Four great works occurred that day, assuring me that blessings were all around me and I am doing the right thing. I was able to locate my uncle/mechanic who did not travel yet as planned, my apt. was opened ( thankfully! we had locked the key inside), a very important set of medical notes were prepared within a two day span when the doctor before took almost 2 weeks and a guy I had tracked down and lost contact with for weeks told me the account would be settled on my birthday! Can you believe it?! on my birthday, a double blessing!!

Yes my stomach aches and food smells good but there's a purpose behind this. After hearing about the fasting of yesteryear and today I became fascinated of the experience, healing and breakthrough I can receive from fasting. It became a phenomenon. Although I often cannot sleep without food, I will do so tonight and every night until my goal is reached and I am further in my mission.

p.s. my boo was such a sweetheart and he encouraged me to keep going, also that the blessings i received may disappear or become harmful: I love him :)

Day 2 - I was tired, drained and hungry. ( to be expected I guess)

Day 3 - I was seriously tempted to eat but gained inspiration through the words of friends: "Don't break it, keep going" . I was also told that it is a vow made between you and Christ that should never be broken. There was a television that reminded me that I can achieve something I didn't think I would do. The young man attempted to climb a mountain with anticipation and enthusiasm, but on day 3 he fell weak and thought he wouldn't make it, but he did not let that get to him and by six he reached the top!
He and his folks were so proud I realized I cannot let food have that power over me; it's just food! I would be limiting myself and God by giving in although I was very much tempted to. It gave me the strength and encouragement to sign praises, be proud and be strong.

Day 4 - I decided to end my fast late this afternoon I felt a calmness and happiness about my decision. I accepted that I made it for 3 full days and reached a point of understanding. I will eat something small and continue to praise and worship God with joy. He has really taken me to another plan of control, discipline and patience. I did some feng shui on my desk today and I came in with a mindset to just clear everything away, b more assertive and say NO when necessary I've really released so much this week its amazing. I found joy in fixing/adjusting things on my own such as cleaning the printer, rearranging, fixing a computer problem. I smiled, did it easily n quietly , found it quite soothing actually. Removing food has really helped alot and I gained wisdom. I feel more comfortable with my office/surrounding space and efficient.

I achieved what I had proclaimed in the beginning and more
I believe the life lesson here was acceptance, patience, doing things in time and to not be so excitable. I do not regret my decision and I love that I have experienced such a breakthrough. I will fast & pray more often as a way of meditation, test of faith and becoming closer to God. - May 20 - 5:53pm

I will also be more patient and tolerant of myself rather than harsh.

Jehovah, My Provider

Whenever I need money, God always provides for me. Six months after my fear of being broke and uncomfortable over the Christmas Holiday if there was no bonus; God came through. Today, amongst my penny pinchin' moment in a local foodstore, a politician stood behind me and volunteered to pay for the potatoes I realized I couldn't afford without sacraficing the purchase of meat at another location. Not only did he pay for the item but he also gave me the change; $9 that enabled me to bu the groceries I needed during such a tough time. It's always reassuring when God reminds you of his power, mercy and all knowing prescence in such a small and special way. I am thankful for what I received today which is so much more than the nominal value.

Thank you Lord, for showing me your love through the help of another. I will not question you, for you have everything under control.

These words sang through my ears

My new Life Motto:

I've got evidence, I've confidence

I'm a conqueror ,I know that I win.

I know who I am, God wrote it in his plan For Me,

My name is Victory!

Words to live by

“Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.”- Matthew 22:37-39

So Alone...

So Alone...

so cold
so new
Can I do it?
I believe I can.....

I know I can.
One day at a time,
Things will be better..

New Perspective

If I really knew him
we wouldn't have this problem.
I would've known had i decided to be this way.
I would have to leave him.
Odd thing is I didn't know him well enough to make a decison like this: Imagine marriage?!
I wasn't ready for marriage,
honestly
I tried to learn as much about it as possible this year
I've succeeded in that
and funny thing is,
If I had just kept that one thing in he would've been able to overlook any other problems.
When he first mentioned marriage
I should've asked the questions I needed to know the answer to
Outside of just being happy and whisked away.
I need things to move slow for me
with no pressure,
no expectations.

Silent wish of the Heart

If it is my time to be,
Ever faithfully devoted to Thee.
Take my heart and make it yours.
Let it bring peace and joy to others.
Make my eyes see the vision you have for me.
I know that the roots of my mind,
can barely grasp the reverence and glory of your work......your being,
But it yearns to try.
Take Me.
Mold Me.

I've washed away all that used to be,
For you have called me to be a new being.
One washed in your blood and eager to serve you.
I want to be totally yours.

My hands long to touch the hems of your garment
and the dimensions of your face.

Oh, the wonderful joy that comes from the Master

' Jesus, you're the center of my joy....'

There is so much passion and power in this phrase
It captures the idea that one's happiness comes from the core of God's son....Jesus
Isn't that amazing?
Doesn't it just blow your mind?

What pure happiness and abundance of love one must feel when they say these words to their Saviour
He wants nothing more than to bring His people joy, at all times.

I believe in these words,
I state this claim,
I will make it my life.

Broken Memoir

I'm happy that I made the right decision,
and we did what was best for us.

It's sad to lose a friend,
But even more painful to lose a love.
We faced our fears and erased them before they became a reality.

I'm proud to say I knew you,
Flattered to have met you,
Touched to have been appreciated by you.

Whenever I think of you a smile will adorn my face,
and a warmness will touch my heart.

You gave me a glimpse of a new reality,
Thank you....

I won't forget you.

Subtle & Sweet

"I like buying stuff i can see a girl in...perfume is safe but there is nothing like seeing her walk out from head to toe in "U". - a cool guy

For You.....

Dear Friend,

My prayer for you today

Is that the Word of God touches your soul;

That His light shines brightly through your heart and eyes.

I pray that He showers you with Blessings,

And that you glorify and reverence his name joyfully.

Be still….and know that He is near.

I pray that His love surrounds you,

And his guidance empowers you.

May you keep Him in your heart always.

Your sister in Christ,

M

Observation

No matter the outside appearance of others, it's when we peel theses layers that we realize that pain, tears and happiness knows no race, color or gender; they are simply human.

Fearless

The Lord is my God!
In whom shall I fear?
Though man may try to hurt me , destroy me, batter me and leave me in darkness,
The Lord will forever be my light.

I fear no man.
The Lord is ruler over all things.
On Judgment Day all is called to meet the master, and to answer for their deeds.
Will you be there?
Will He remember and acknowledge you on that day?
He loves all and answers to none.
Let the mountains and birds cry out in awe of all that He has done.

You are part of a higher calling, the Body of Christ;
Strong, Resilient, ever growing and never changing.
Let no one question your destiny,
Your place in the world and in the Lord.
Be Fearless.

If I.

If I should only listen to him,
In the greatest of confidence and follow him.
Let his word be my compass,

If I would not allow the devil to change what the Lord has for me
Manipulate my mind and fool my heart,

If I should just trust in him, be patient and humble: He will answer me.

'God can can take my breathe away
Grant me my deepest wishes
He knows my heart , my mind my soul'

I have found him

I have truly met the Love of my life
He kisses my fingers and toes with such sweetness, such...simplicity
His eyes shine when he looks at me
And his smile brightens any room
He.......has........captured my heart : undoubtedly.


If I could see the Lord's face, I would thank him
Thank him for creating such a wonderful man
For blessing me with such a loving image of himself
For giving me the gift of love in a human form.

I have never been so radiant,
So alive...
So happy.

I have been touched more than mere words can describe,
Held with a yearning and passion that only few can fathom
I'm in love!
And it feels Amazing.

Just Forgive

I can let go
I can move on
I can breathe.....

This battle is not my own
The Lord will see me through
I am safe in his arms

Thank you

I'm in Love

You know you're in love when......

His voice makes your heart tremor
Their fingers make your skin instantly warm
When he's the first thing on your mind in the morning and the last person you speak to at night
When their presence brings you instant relief and joy
And your smile is unfading
When you can't stay angry at him for more than 30minutes max
When his kiss lingers on your lips
When seeing him at 6am keeps you ecstatic for the remainder of the day
When you look at him and all your stress just melts away
When your heart and soul is his entirely,
And you feel completely engulfed by his love and security.....

Yes, I'm in love.

In time

One thing we must all learn to do in due time is to let things go
Everything has a purpose, a meaning, a moment in our lives that can lasts seconds to a lifetime

Lord, guide me in your way and comfort me in my times of need
When I feel lost, disappointed, alone, sacred and defeated ; be My rock, always.

In the End

In the end we're all sinners
Merciless slaves of the wicked and evil deeds that surround us

In the end,
Friends, family and loved ones all betray us
Your self love an respect is all that can never be driven away or replaced.

In the end it is we who hurt ourselves the deepest
Wound the most severely ; harm the most


I too wish that this world had not existed
That I be born in a better time, a better environment, a safer set of days

But alas.....

In the end, we can only stop, thank, remember and converse with the Our Maker
Who will make things right in his own time.
His place will come,
There will be heaven on earth,
There will be a great act of condemnation on all who are against the Lord and his people

............We should not worry

..............We should not fear

For we are all well kept in the arms of the Lord.

Dear ex

I'm angry that you cheated and I'm the one who had to pay for it,
I'm angry at all those months you lied to me
I'm angry that I gave you my best and my all
and you continued to be wishy washy and drag me along
I'm angry that I was myself ; a good and loving person
and you weren't
I'm angry that you'll continue to go around to your friends and talk about me
in the worse ways possible,
No matter what I do in my life or what you've done to hurt me.
I'm angry that very few people will know what kind of a guy you were to me
and that the majority will get whatever BS you give themI'm angry that although I am dear to your mother & sister that I'd have to speak with them rarely because I despise you.
I'm angry that you wasted my time knowing it wouldn't last and that you were was doing your dirt; yet refusing to let me go,
Although I wish that you had......
Your petty , immature and childish acts and words have completely consumed any pleasant emotion I had towards you
I pray that God blesses you because I no longer want to have anything to do with you.

- A Woman Scorned