Failure to myself and to my Lord

I'm constantly failing you aren't I Father?
Why Am I falling to these past actions so easily?
They disgust me.
Make me feel like less of a person.
Remind me of where I came from and what I felt like,
Used to feel like.....
Used to be..... thought I was.

Save me Lord!
I want you, I know I do.
But I do I want you enough is the question
Enough to let go again.
Enough to resist these things, foot down and head shaking feverishly at sin,
Enough to believe in myself and you.
But I didn't want to be here again Lord,
I didn't want to be that person.
Oh Lord, help me,
Save Me.
I know what it's like to be lost, confused and ashamed.
I don't want to be that way
Not even for a few seconds.
I Love You,
I Need You,
Please, Please
Be With Me...........
Be my Rock Again,
Be My Shelter,
Be My Father,
Make me new and whole again.
I can feel that part slipping away.
Not as easily as sand , but not as concrete as the foundation I had before.

I'm not that victim,
I'm not that girl again.....EVER.
She's dead to you & I.
I am here now , and that's who I want to stay.
Please. Forgive me Lord.
Know that I am Sorry,
And I need you.
Fill my heart today,
Make it pure,
Make it Right,
Make me whole once again.
I want not to feel defiled, unclean.
For only beauty resides in God's Children.

Love Me Lord,
Please Come In.
Take Me Back.......